Couch potato girl with horrible hormones

Last week was not a good one, the hormones were playing havoc and I felt like crap; what started as an ‘every once in a blue moon’ hormone problem has now become a monthly thing.  I hate it. I knew I was in trouble last Wednesday when I found myself with tears streaming down my face, whilst doing gradient walking on the treadmill in the gym after watching an episode of Doctors.  Okay, it was sad but crying in public after watching a soap is so not cool.  But then I am not cool, end of.

I spent hours last Thursday morning completing the paperwork for the sale of Harriet’s flat, Harriet phoned me as I was almost finishing and we had an enormous row over the phone.  It was something and nothing and probably my fault.  I did go to the gym but it did not improve my mood and I yelled at Phil when he got home from work.  I shall just be glad when I am the other side of the menopause.

I felt really unwell on the Friday and would have loved to have stayed in bed with my new phone, my galaxy tablet and Kindle but it was not an option as I had promised to visit mum in Melton.  It was raining but surprisingly I got to Melton before 9am, the best trip I have had for ages.  My first job was to take down the kitchen curtains and get them in the wash.  The next task was to take mum shopping in Morrison’s for supplies.  I managed to dry and iron the kitchen curtains and get them hung up before lunch.  We had our usual fare for lunch, salmon followed by apple crumble and custard.  I don’t really like puddings but I always manage a couple of spoonfuls because Bet goes to so much effort.  After lunch I made some appointments for mum and was on the M1 by mid afternoon.  I had a good journey and was back home by half four, somehow missing all the Friday rush hour traffic.

On Saturday I went to the gym then stopped off at Harriet’s flat to pick up her passport and a bank certificate as I had to take these into the estate agent to get her documents verified.  I did this and then posted the sale documents off to the conveyancer recorded delivery.  We have decided to use ConveyLaw, a conveyancer rather than our usual solicitor. I am trying to save money but I am not certain I have done the right thing.  So far, I have sent 3 emails and have had no response; I am going to telephone them to chase up.  Not the best start to a new relationship.

We flew to Budapest on Sunday late afternoon, it was a good journey but it was quite late by the time we got to our hotel.  It was nice to be given an upgrade, we don’t experience this often, and actually we have never had an upgrade, so this was indeed a first.  Phil booked our trip to Budapest for our wedding anniversary, I am not that keen on cities and wasn’t quite sure what to expect, because apart from booking the airport shuttle, I hadn’t done any research.

It rained the whole day on Monday and we were cold, wet and miserable.  We ended up having lunch in a shopping centre, cheap food eaten on plastic plates with plastic cutlery, tasted horrible but what did I expect!  Our hotel was lovely and use of the executive lounge was indulgent. It gave Phil a chance to use the internet and the selection of pre dinner nibbles and red wine was excellent.  I liked it a lot.

The hop-on-hop-off bus was good and gave us an opportunity to see the sights without walking our legs off. Some of the buildings were magnificent which surprised me for what used to be a communist country.  I am not really into museums or churches but admired the architecture from the bus.  Budapest is famous for its thermal springs and I would have loved to have had a dip in the baths but Phil wasn’t up for it.

We walked for miles and miles on our last day, I was relieved to get on the boat but the wind was biting and I was freezing.  As Phil said, our anniversary meal was really disappointing, I really wished we had gone to the Italian.  I am sure there is good food to be sampled in Budapest but we certainly didn’t find any.   Aside from the snacks in the exec lounge, I felt I went hungry.  Although I am not fond of cities, I did like Budapest and there is lots to do and see, but I think I would have preferred to go in the summer or late spring.  I would have also liked to visit when there wasn’t so much construction going on.  Budapest city is definitely works in progress.

Our flight home was packed but at least it was on time, the meet and greet car parking went fine and we were home for 11pm.   I should have gone straight to bed but we stayed up and watched TV.  Phil was back at work on Thursday morning so we had to be up early.  I felt knackered but Phil said he didn’t feel tired.  Sue had kindly been to the flat, she whacked up the heating and she also put supplies in the fridge, bless her. 

I unpacked, washed, ironed, shopped in the morning and then went out for lunch with Sue to the Ship at Willen; we both had scampi and chips and a much over due catch up. Sue and Ian have just returned home after having a 6 day break in Sharm el Sheik, they had a great holiday.   She showed me the photographs and I admit it looked lovely and made me want to go.  I have never been to Egypt.

I have just about caught up with domestics and paperwork.  Phil tells me he wants to go back on the diet so first thing on Friday morning I made a chicken casserole.  I need to step up and do more home cooking; diets definitely do not work when eating out.  Phil got his PSA result back from the doctors; it is 0.6 which is excellent.  I am positive if he drops a few stone it will make everything better. 

Illness, deaths and funerals seem to have been the main feature in our lives for the last 12 months and I sincerely hoped that illness and all things medical would not be a focus for 2014 but alas that’s not been the case.  My aunt Jackie has been really poorly and a recent scan diagnosed a shadow on her lung; she will be 70 next year but is really fit and up until Christmas was running 5 miles a day. 

I was alarmed to read on Facebook when I switched on my laptop when we got back, that my sister Louise had spent 2 days in hospital.  This was a real surprise because Lou is the fittest of us all, her body is her temple and all that.  I phoned first thing on Thursday morning, Lou sounded frail but was out of hospital; she has had a CT scan and various other tests which revealed fluid on both lungs but with no infection.  There is some issue with the muscle around her heart but that’s all I know because she is awaiting on her results. 

If that wasn’t enough worry, Harriet had an abnormal smear followed by a biopsy which came back as grade 2, she has to have laser treatment under a general anaesthetic so a small operation for her. I am not sure when as she hasn’t had a date yet.  I went for a mammogram on Friday and Sue came with.  It made a change for her to come with me for an appointment instead of the other way round; in fact it felt positively weird.  There is no need for concern, my visit was a random routine and I have no concerns or worries.

We are having a quiet weekend; Phil did come to the gym with me yesterday and did very well.  Mind you, he spent the rest of the day sprawled on the chair in front of the telly so maybe it took it out of him.  It was such a lovely day that I couldn’t bear to be inside, so I got stuck in to leaf collecting in the garden.  I managed to fill up the green bin and also 6 bin bags, not sure if its green bin collection on Monday but if not I will take them to the tip today.

I am trying to keep busy to take my mind off all my worries.  To be honest, I am not in a good place at the moment and haven’t been for quite a while.   I am trying to keep myself from going down into a deep big hole but it’s difficult.  My sister gave me anti depressants last year, the pack is sitting in my bedside drawer and I think I am going to try them.   The world is difficult to face and I have a feeling that I am going into hibernation, not exactly hibernation, more like underground.  It’s easy to do, I love my comfy bed and I love my little flat.  I have been struggling with the blog for some time and I think if you don’t have anything positive to say then best not say anything at all. If you don’t hear from me for a while then please do not be concerned, it’s me, not you.  Actually, I think it’s all do with the hormones.